A Path To Self-Love

Uncategorized May 12, 2020

There are many paths to self-love, and today I want to share with you my favourite.

 

You know, food used to be my preferred way to run away from my emotions.

Sitting with big emotions was a big NO, NO 🚫 a few years ago. If I felt too much, I had to calm it down with something and among a few not so great habits, binging on food was my #1 choice.

 

From a very young age (around 7), I became someone that was either on a diet or sabotaging that diet with a good binge.

 

It took me years (and I am talking like 20 years) to figure out that that behaviour was a thing and that it hurt all areas of my life.

This thing was not only an eating disorder but a form of self-sabotage.

 

♾I remember the cycle looked like this:

🙈I would promise myself to never do it again with the phrase "Starting Tomorrow, I'm not going to…."

🙊And I would be true to that promise until I would get emotionally triggered (by someone or something) and in a matter of seconds, I'd go back to the old behaviour I so wanted to eliminate.

🙉Then I would see what I have just done and go straight to swim in a pool of shame and unworthiness, which lasted for a few days (sometimes weeks) until again I would proclaim out loud and with exclamations "Starting Tomorrow!!!..."

 

This cycle ♾ not only happened with food; it happened with other bad habits in my life until one day I realized how EXHAUSTING it was.

Even-though I wanted to do and be so much in my life, and I had so many dreams to fulfil, this cycle put me in a very primal/victim state of consciousness leaving me with very little energy to create, grow or expand.

 

So I decided to get honest with myself, called this by its name and committed to heal it and transcend it.

 

So, what was my medicine to heal it? The rehab?

 

1️⃣I permitted myself "to feel" big emotions.

2️⃣I began to talk to my 7-year-old self and ask her: what did she need from me and did my best to meet her needs?. Most of the time, she needed me to remind her that she was loved and that it was ok to feel.

3️⃣I made a deal with my self that every time I would self-sabotage, I was going to FORGIVE MYSELF AND BEGIN AGAIN.

  

Look, self-sabotage is not the bigger problem here, the problem is the amount of shame this brings into our lives.

Shame is like sitting in a dark room, but self-forgiveness is like sticking a match and lighting up the room, they cannot coexist, is either one or the other.

 

A yogi once said:

♥️"When in darkness, do not worry so much about the darkness, instead turn the light on, and the darkness will disappear."

 

🕯️Let's turn the light on with some kindness and self-forgiveness 🕯️

 

I sincerely hope this serves you!

 

Paola

 

 

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